In A Valley

It's past 1:00 a.m. and I can't sleep. Probably because I drank 3 cups of coffee to help me stay up and finish school work for my Master's that was due at 11:59 p.m. I finished with 20 minutes to spare. I know what you are thinking. She's not a procrastinator at all! Ha! Now, I can't turn my brain off and I was in bed and for some reason wanted to blog. I haven't blogged in a while so it was a really random thought to have to say the least. This was just on my heart and mind so I thought I would share. This entry is going to be raw and real.  My prayer is that if you have been in a valley, for whatever reason, that you find hope and know that the valley is not where you are meant to stay. 

This post is titled In A Valley because I have been in the valley for a while now. My walk with the Lord has been little to none this past year. I don't remember how or when I decided I thought I could do this thing called life on my own, but it happened slowly and one day I realized that I was in a valley. The consequences of my disobedience have left me self-centered, depressed, angry, self loathing, arrogant, the list goes on. Along the way, I lost the sense of who I was, am, and what I stood for. I conformed to what I thought I had to be or should be in order for people to like me. Everything I wanted and prayed for was just left out to dry while I thought I could handle it all on my own. I haven't gone to church consistently in a year. Typing that makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed. I say and do things that I shouldn't. I think things that I shouldn't. I began feeling alone and isolated and that's when I realized I was in a valley. The only one that put me there was myself. This past year two close family members were diagnosed with cancer, relationships/friendships didn't work out, work is overwhelming, and honestly life is just stressful. I have been feeling guilty and ashamed because I have been trying to carry all these burdens by myself. Tonight, as I was in my bed, mind racing (because I had too many cups of coffee) I had the realization that I was in a valley and that I had been there too long. I asked God to forgive me and asked him to take these burdens I have been carrying. That is when I had the urge to blog. Because I know that many people have times where they feel like they are in a valley. And if my words can encourage you to buckle down and face the valley with confidence, then I am thankful that I had the urge to share my thoughts.

you are reading this, you too, might feel like you are in a valley at this moment. It doesn't matter how you got there or why. What matters is that there is beauty in being in a valley. It is in these valleys where we realize that the only way out is through and by Jesus' strength. One thing all valleys have in common is the realization that we should be dependent on Jesus. Not a spouse, friendship, relationIfship, job promotion, etc. We should totally depend on Jesus for all and in all circumstances. He also uses these times to teach and heal us. I truly believe that. Every valley is different and with every valley comes a new lesson to be learned. This is also when we get to come face to face with His grace. He allows us to drift and have struggles because he has given us free will, but he waits patiently for us to return and when we do, he loves, heals, and accepts us where we are. That is grace. That is love. That is dependable. That is real.  I have cried until my eyes have been swollen this past year. I have been angry, hurt, confused, lonely, jealous, and self-seeking. I tried to carry all of these and figure things out on my own which left me in a deep, dark valley. The good news is, slowly but surely, I am coming out of the valley and trying to seek Jesus for guidance and understanding daily. I am going to mess up, a lot. I will have many more valleys to face. Good news is, there is healing in every valley.


If you took a few minutes out of your time to read this, thank you! I pray that you found encouragement by reading my words. If you are currently in a valley, know that you are not alone and that you won't be there forever! 

2/25/19

WOWWW. I haven't blogged in over a year. In fact, it's been so long since I logged into this account that I had to reset my username and update all of that before it let me log back in. So, y'all wanna know what is a total God thing?? The words I typed above this were a draft that I never submitted or made public over a year ago. It was titled In The Valley and I mean my mouth dropped. Right now, this very moment, I have been in a valley. Life has hit hard and it is beautiful but it's hit me in the face. Let me explain....

I started dating this incredible man, Preston. Our love story is for another post, but God allowed him to come back into my life. Thank you, Lord. We had been dating a year or a little over and I got pregnant. We got married and had a baby a little over a month later. Tucker Lynn Clark entered our lives, January 24, 2019. In the hospital, we found out that Tucker has a heart defect that can thankfully be fixed with surgery. Praise you, Jesus! With the anxiety and hormonal changes giving birth and becoming a new mommy bring, PLUS, the anxiety and worry that my baby has to have heart surgery, I was/ still am a complete BASKET case. Do you hear me??? So, yes, I feel in the valley. I was reminded that I am not in control. The Lord is teaching and building my faith. You see, I carry burdens....fear, anxiety, worry, self-control, doubt, etc.  But in Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus tells us to, " Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For MY yoke is easy and MY burden is light." He wants us to give our burdens to him. It is a day to day surrender. BUT Jesus takes our burdens. He wants us to come to him when we are weary and burdened. He also wants us to come to him with praise 1 Chronicles 16:23-24, "Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare the glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

Through writing and blogging, it helps me to get my thoughts and feelings out, in a sense. I pray that my words are encouraging to you. I pray that God gets the glory for it all. He uses people in different ways and if my story and words can help encourage someone and teach them about the greatest God of all and His love, then I am happy to write down these thoughts and share them with you.


Stay salty,
Annie

He Cleans Us Up

Today, I am off work AGAIN due to yet another winter storm. Laubhan and his team are 2/2 this winter in predicting inclement weather. You rock, Matt! I am a first grade teacher and usually we teacher's pray and hope that this kind of weather comes so we can enjoy a nice, relaxing kid-free day. But we are OVER it. You see, if we miss anymore, we are going to have to make it up on a SATURDAY and some of our summer. Yep, you read right. Instead of the usual teacher prayer that we would miss work, we are all praying and hoping to go in. Like I said we are OVER it. Want to make a teacher mad, take her Saturdays and some of her summer days away. Scary thought. Teacher claws will come out. 

Which leads me to my latest blog….today's entry. I haven't blogged as much here lately. There are several reasons why but one reason is because I like to blog when I feel inspired. Mostly I like to blog when I feel like God is laying things on my heart and spirit to share. Here lately there have been several occasions where he has taken simple tasks that I am doing and reminds me of His grace and mercy. He may speak differently to you, but when He speaks and you hear, it's indescribable. 

So I will get to the main topic of my blog today. He Cleans Us Up. Like I mentioned I am off work today. Typically, I would lay in bed all day and watch Netflix--which I did do before I realized I needed to do some cleaning. At least I'm honest, right??? I decided that I would start in the bathroom and actually paused mid-scrub to come and write before I lost what my spirit was trying to tell me. My bathtub was pretty, ummmm…I will just leave it at that. Don't judge. So I get the Comet and get to scrubbing. Literally, my arms are going to be sore from all the scrubbing. As I continued to clean, I honestly hadn't noticed just how dirty my bathtub was until I had scrubbed off parts of the grime. Then it  hit me square on the head. We, as humans and sinners, don't realize how really dirty we are until Jesus comes and cleans us all up. Except, Jesus doesn't have to scrub. When we come to him and admit how dirty we are and how we need a Savior, he cleans us up right then and there. No Comet necessary. Just blood. He takes the dirt and grime and shines it all up and makes us NEW!!!

 As I was scrubbing, I made that bathtub an altar. I began thanking Jesus for cleaning me up. Daily. Hourly. Monthly. Yearly. I thanked God for sending His son to die for ME! Dirty, selfish, unclean, grimy, me. I, we, you, don't have to scrub away your dirt. You can't do it on your own. You NEED a Savior to do it. Jesus can and Jesus does SAVE.

Is there going to be build up again in my life? Yes, I am a sinner. I am human. But by the grace of God, he continues to clean me up. Daily. Hourly. Yearly. Monthly. His grace is sufficient for you, me, EVERYONE. That's powerful. 

Thank you JESUS for always cleaning me up. You don't have to scrub or use Comet and a sponge. Your grace is sufficient for me! Your blood was, is and will always be enough. Thank you for using a house chore to remind me of your unending grace and mercy. AMEN. AMEN. AMEN!!!!

" But he said to me, " My grace is sufficient for you…"

2 Corinthians 12:9

Stay Salty,

Annie

You Are

You are hope when I've lost all of mine.

You are peace when I don't feel fine.

You are grace when I don't deserve it.

You are courage when I want to quit.

You are mercy when I don't like me.

You are love even when I cannot see.

You are power when my world is crumbling down.

You are contentment when I want what's all around.

You are truth when I'm surrounded by lies.

You are understanding and hear my cries.

You are friend and know me by name.

You are constant and always stay the same.

You are sovereign when there's evil all around.

You are steady when there's shaking in the ground.

You are righteous and make my heart melt.

You are SALVATION and I want to tell everybody else. 

Stay Salty,

Annie

Chasing After the Wind

"I have seen all the things that

 are done under the sun;

 all of them are meaningless,

 a chasing after the wind."

Ecclesiastes 1: 14

Do you ever feel like you are chasing after the wind??? Boy, I have and especially here lately. I'll spare you all the details, but I have just felt………dry, dissatisfied, drained, and down right discouraged--just to name a few. I don't know about you but, it's like I chase after all of these things and once I get what I am after, it doesn't really satisfy me and I start chasing after the next thing that I think will. Isn't it crazy how FAST we humans can become so unsatisfied??? 

 I haven't been in The Word much here lately and I have never read or studied the book of Ecclesiastes extensively, but I woke up this morning wanting to read this book. Thank you, Spirit, because this scripture was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Even Solomon knew that all of his wisdom, wealth, and power were meaningless without God and would never make him happy apart from God. This was a good reminder for me. The world we live in is an illusion. It promotes that the more you have the happier you will be. Do not be tricked. It is okay to have things, but it is not okay to think those possessions will satisfy your soul. Only Jesus can do that. :)

So let's stop chasing after the wind and find our true happiness in Jesus. 

Stay Salty,

Annie

Psalm 51:10

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Psalm 51:10

Stay Salty,

Annie

How Can It Be?

"You plead my cause

You right my wrongs

You break my chains

You overcome

You gave Your life

To give me mine

You say that I am free

How can it be."

Lauren Daigle-How Can It Be

Y'all, this song. is. amazing. Thankful for Jesus' love and grace he pours out to me daily. How can it be that someone loves me that much? I hope you find encouragement from this song as much as I do! :)

Click the link and have a listen. Prepare to have it on repeat. 

http://youtu.be/Wt5X91ciE6Y

Stay Salty,

Annie

Early Morning Poetry

Good Morning! It has been a while since I have posted in my blog. I hope you are doing well and are enjoying this beautiful weather. I know I am. 

There have been a lot of things happening lately in my life. Good and bad things. When I say bad, really I mean, things that aren't going my way. You see, I think I have everything under control and tend to forget, quite often, that I do not control anything. Then, sure enough, God humbles me and so I find myself right back at the feet of Jesus pouring my heart and soul to him. 

With that being said, I have picked up writing here and there. I write in a journal. Sometimes it's prayers. Sometimes it's just what has been going on in my life. Sometimes it's prayer request. Sometimes it's praises. And sometimes, its poetry. Very rare is it poetry. I tend to write poetry when I am sad or have faced a life lesson. It helps redirect my focus on the One I am supposed to be focused on. So here is the latest poetry entry! Hope you enjoy!

"You know my deepest sorrows and my heart's desires.

Help me trust your resounding power.

You alone control my life and will. 

When my plan doesn't work, I will love you still.

I know life is one big trial and test, 

but knowing you gives me rest.

Help me not to fix my eyes on the loss.

Instead, help me lay it all at the cross."

Stay Salty,

Annie